You are not the exception.

One of the most important and hardest lessons I’ve ever learned in relationships is that if someone makes it clear in some way that they don’t care about you – after you’ve allowed yourself to be vulnerable and tell this person how you really feel – BELIEVE THEM THE FIRST TIME.

Never hold on to hope or dwell on all of those moments you thought you had connected. Maybe it mattered then, maybe it didn’t – the point is that it doesn’t matter to them now.

Accepting this fact is the only thing that has ever helped me move on with my life, even after I had experienced my first and most devastating break-up. The crucial part was allowing myself to be honest, even if I knew the risk was straight out rejection.

It’s incredibly difficult, but necessary in knowing that I “did everything I could” so now I know for sure and I can let go and move on; no more wondering “what if” – that’s unhealthy and pointless.

After all, knowing your self worth also means knowing that you deserve better than someone who will always make you question whether or not your feelings are reciprocated. I’ve also been fortunate enough to be in relationships with people who never made me feel insecure, so taking comfort in knowing that healthy relationships DO EXIST keeps me realistic about who I could meet in the future.

Adventures in Dating with Anxiety Disorder

Here comes a personal post…

Since yesterday I’ve been functioning between a mess of anxiety attacks to being in a klonopin-induced haze just to get me through the day.

People will often flippantly use the word “crazy” to describe the way that they’re feeling, which kind of sucks at times like these when the only way I can really describe how I am feeling is… legitimately crazy.

Without going into too much personal details, I feel the need to share that I go through these episodes when I am triggered by particular types of inevitable life events that happen. The problem, as I have discussed with at least a few doctors, is that I HAVE to go through this to get stronger. I NEED to take these risks in life if I am ever going to be able to manage this trigger… because I can’t keep relying on increasing my medication or popping a klonopin or 2 every time my brain chemistry decides it can’t handle it.

I’m also very fortunate to have so many supportive people in my life who have encouraged me to take the time my body needs to calm down. Even I hold some personal stigma about my own mental illness and forget that this is really effecting me to the point I can barely function without breaking down every 15 minutes into tears or vomiting.

With that said, I’ve shared this video before, but I need to again because it is better than listening to any song about heartbreak out there, it can be read more abstractly then that:

For me, this isn’t about one particular individual I’ve been with, but a reflection of all of my experiences in dating and relationships with men in general. It reminds me of how strong I am now matter what and more importantly of my worth.

It’s comforting and I’ve been listening to it on repeat ever since.

You Gon’ Learn Today: On the Revocation of White Privilege in North Korea

ALL. OF. THIS.

THE KINFOLK KOLLECTIVE

“That’s what the hell he gets. Good for him!” My mother had uttered those words in her typical matter-of-fact tone one morning as she watched the news. “He” was Michael Fay, an 18-year-old from Ohio who had confessed to vandalizing cars in Singapore, and was subsequently sentence to six lashes from a rattan cane. I was in sixth grade and all I could imagine was how horrible the pain would be. My mother was unmoved at the thought, remarking, “He earned that.”

I thought about my mother’s words a few days ago while watching video of 21-year-old Otto Warmbier, another man from Ohio who last week was convicted of subversion for stealing a propaganda banner in North Korea, and sentenced to 15 years hard labor. Just as in Fay’s case, I was shocked by the severity of the punishment. I’ve tried to imagine spending a decade and a half performing what the…

View original post 784 more words

A few moments from Rainbow Trout Music Festival 2015

This was our 2nd year at the RTMF and it was arguably even more memorable than the last: we saw more T&A, woke up to loud sexy-times from our neighbours, survived mild heat stroke & puking in the Roseau River (sorry all!!), got hit on by young, drunk boys and took more photos!

 

 
IMG_3359
 
French Press being awesome
IMG_3344
 
IMG_3349
 
IMG_3352
 
IMG_3357
 
IMG_3379
 
ATLAAS
IMG_3387
 
IMG_3388
 
IMG_3393
 
IMG_3400
 
Friday night we were falling asleep in our tent (because we are grandmas) when I turned over and noticed a lady dancing with fire. I didn’t have enough time to set up my tripod before she left – so this is my view between 2 trees
IMG_3409IMG_3410
 
Day 2 Open Mic at Carpet Beach
RTMFPano
 
Blond Goth was hilarious and bad-ass
IMG_3445
 
IMG_3444
 
Playing with long exposure
IMG_3420
 
IMG_3422
 
IMG_3424
 
One of our neighbours set up a tent for his creepy little doll friend?
IMG_3453
 
View from our tent-patio that everyone was jel. of
IMG_3450
 
Late night stroll to the night tent
IMG_3456
 
Last day caterpillar friend❤
RTMFcaterpiller
 
HUUUUUUUGE THANKS AGAIN RTMF ORGANIZERS & VOLUNTEERS – WE HAD A BLAST!

There’s a big d…

Because MRAs and “meninsim” and “BUT WHAT ABOUT THE MENZ???” has infiltrated feminism…

Aprilology

There’s a big difference, however, between hating a dominant group in an oppressive system like patriarchy and hating the individuals who belong to it. Angela Davis once said that as an African American she often feels hatred for white people, but her feelings for particular white people depend on the individual. She hates white people’s collective position of dominance in a racially oppressive society, she hates the privilege they enjoy at her expense, and she hates the racist culture that whites take for granted as unremarkable while she must struggle with the oppression it creates in everyday life. But Davis also knows that while individual whites can never be free of racism, they can participate in racist systems in many different ways, which include joining people of color in the fight for racial justice. The same can be said of men and women.

The distinction between groups and individuals, however…

View original post 203 more words

A Metis Winnipegger’s Thoughts on the Maclean’s Article…

It’s amazing how long I accepted this as reality everywhere for us. It wasn’t until I moved to Toronto and came back for visits that I realized just how violent the attitudes are towards my community – in Winnipeg. It took me another year after I moved back to get use to the feeling of ‘walking on eggshells’ every time I entered a white-dominated space. Unless you’re a VISIBLY Indigenous person living in Winnipeg, you have no idea what our experiences are like.